


Bark Tower

by volunteerfd



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Dogs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 06:46:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15189119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volunteerfd/pseuds/volunteerfd
Summary: Bruce adopts two dogs. Some people (Tony) are less thrilled than others (everyone else, especially Steve).





	Bark Tower

Bruce was late to the Avengers meeting, which was wont to happen when he got caught up in the lab or garden or meditating or whatever. For obvious reasons, he didn’t like being bound to clocks and time. Neither did the others. So they all assumed he was off in lotus position, or stoned, and began the meeting without him. 

And then he walked in with a dog.

Bruce blinked in surprise, having forgotten the meeting; the others blinked in surprise, not expecting a large, shaggy beast accompanying their scientist. If it hadn’t been for the leash and collar, Tony would have thought Bruce took the dog off the street and led it straight inside. The dog was all sorts of colors that didn’t  follow any pattern or reason, just brown interrupted by white there and a smattering of grey, long floppy ears, and a big dopey face. A slobber machine, no doubt. So big and hairy it was hard to tell it was missing its front left leg. Sitting, the dog rose slightly above Bruce’s waist. Tony wouldn’t be surprised if a DNA test turned up mastiff, deerhound, Newfoundland and moose. It had to be a joke that Bruce got a dog fit for the Hulk.  It  _ had  _ to be. 

“Dogs!” Steve exclaimed, almost flying out of his seat. He settled back down and looked around sheepishly, trying to restore his decorum. “Sorry. It’s just—dogs.”

And then, eyes drawn away from the big monster dog, Tony saw the other one: a fluffy little furball with two legs. It was either apricot-color or white and dirty. And it was unbearably, unbearably cute.

“You got dogs,” Tony said.

“Yes.”

“Two.”

“You said I could.” 

“I never did any such thing.”

Bruce stared at Tony. Tony stared at Bruce. Clint beamed: they were about to witness a couple fight. Between Bruce Banner and Tony Stark. Over dogs. How the team  _ waited  _ for this, alert to any hint of tension, waiting for banter to escalate into a revealing feud. Banner, a master of both passive-aggression and shy restraint, defused any personal bombs that threatened to erupt in front of the team even if Tony pressed for detonation.

Now the two were in one of their strange deadlocks, waiting for the other to call their bluff. Tony gave up first. “Jarvis, replay--”

Before Tony could finish his request (and it was a little eerie, how Jarvis did that) the scene appeared on the middle of the table. Post-party Tony, tie loose, shirt unbuttoned, swayed in their bedroom as he tried to pry off his shoe while nursing a glass of whiskey. Bruce was already in bed, a laptop in front of him.

It was strange, seeing those two in a domestic scene—a bedroom, no less. Clint assumed those two never slept or, if they did, that they passed out wherever. And, with a jolt, he realized that they were in a serious relationship. Not a fling, not a lab partners with benefits set-up, but real domesticity. It made Clint wonder if he were in a coma, having a weird, long coma dream.

“Hey, Tony, I was thinking about getting a dog.” Bruce, without taking his eyes from the screen, plucked the glass from Tony’s hand and set it on his bedside.

“Get a dog!” Tony fell heavily next to Banner and threw his jacket on the floor. “Get two dogs!”

“Cool.” Bruce’s fingers clacked across the keyboard.

“Get a dozen dogs! Free the whole shelter!”

“No. I’ll make a donation, though.” 

“Six million dollars. For the dogs. Two for the cats. They’re less needy.”

“OK.” Bruce said.

The projection ended. Tony stood there, arms folded, betrayed by his own tech and the truth. And, of course, by his boyfriend, who waited for just the right moment (Tony’s peak intoxication) to ask for a dog.

And Tony had told him to get two dogs. So he’s betrayed himself, as well.

“Did you tamper--”

“No.”

Tony exhaled loudly. “That is not fair.”

“You seemed really excited about the dogs. I had one in Brazil, and since I’m gonna be here for a while…” Bruce scratched the big one’s ears. “Anyway, I thought you liked taking in strays.” Bruce smiled that shy, mischievous smile that he knew would weaken Tony’s resolve—traitor—but Tony would not allow himself to be taken in. 

“Human strays,” Tony corrected. And, OK, he was taken in a little. 

“Can I pet the dogs?” Steve asked, unable to control himself any longer. He’d spent the entire exchange beckoning, but they remained staunchly at Bruce’s side.

“Sure,” Bruce said. Steve got up and crouched in front of the dogs, extending a hand for each of them to smell. They came to him immediately, now that permission had been granted. Clint followed close behind. The little one balanced on his back legs—his only legs—and peered up at Clint’s face. The big one, like all big dogs, was unaware of his size and knocked Steve over in his attempt to say hello. The two tussled on the floor.

“What are their names?” Clint asked. The little one fixed him with a spooky gaze, directly in the eyes, and Clint stared right back.

“The little one is Archimedes and the big one is Diogenes. Archimedes because he’s always discovering stuff and Diogenes because, well, I always wanted to name a dog Diogenes.”

Tony smacked his face so hard that Bruce heard it across the room. It must have hurt, Bruce thought, amused. 

“They’re good dogs, Stark.” Clint said.

“They were going to be put down. Diogenes isn’t too old, but he is an adult dog, and he’s big and has a lot of energy. And Archimedes has a lot of health issues.” 

“And between the two of them, they have five legs.”

Bruce shrugged, smiling wryly. “We, of all people, can shoulder the financial burden of dog prosthetics.”

“These are exactly the dogs I would expect you to adopt.” Natasha said. She smiled at the scene before her—Archimedes hopped in a circle and Diogenes jumped up and down in front of Steve—but remained in her seat. The dog non-fans were outnumbered; anyway, it was worth the amusement.

“And whose bed are they sleeping in?” Tony asked.

“Whichever one I’m sleeping in.”

“You gotta be kidding me. That one will never fit in a king-sized bed. He  _ is _ a king-sized bed. Thor  could ride him into battle!”

“We’ll work something out,” Bruce said easily, then pitching his voice high and sarcastic, he added “And I promise I’ll feed them and walk them every day.” 

“I can walk them if you two are busy with your science stuff,” Steve volunteered as Diogenes licked his neck and ears. 

“There are going to be limits,” Tony said. “Rules and limits. They are 100% yours. I want nothing to do with them. And they are allowed only on certain designated floors. And they are getting their own bed, not ours.” 

“That sounds fair,” Bruce smiled. “I’m glad you like them.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“In this entire conversation, you never told me to bring them back.”

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Bark Tower (The Can I Pet Your Dog? Remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15946742) by [heyjupiter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/pseuds/heyjupiter)




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